Ok you could probably leave the original code and remove this:
Code: 
background: #6a1c30 url({THEME}/images/arrowstop2.gif) no-repeat 8px  6px; /*last 2 values are the x and y coordinates of bullet image*/
and add it to your html like this:
Code: 
<div class="urbangreymenu">
                            
                            <h3 class="headerbar" style="background: #6a1c30 url({THEME}/images/arrowstop1.gif) no-repeat 8px  6px; "><a href="#">Portuguesas</a></h3>
                            <ul class="submenu">
                            <li><a href=#">Despidas na EGO</a></li>
                            </ul>
                            
                            <h3 class="headerbar" style="background: #6a1c30 url({THEME}/images/arrowstop2.gif) no-repeat 8px  6px; "><a href="#">Brasileiras</a></h3>
                            <ul class="submenu">
                            <li><a href="#">Despidas em Outras</a></li>        
                            </ul>
                            
                            <h3 class="headerbar" style="background: #6a1c30 url({THEME}/images/arrowstop3.gif) no-repeat 8px  6px; "><a href="#">Internacionais</a></h3>
                            <ul class="submenu">
                            <li><a href="#">Despidas em Outras</a></li>        
                            </ul>
                            
</div>
See if that will work for you instead of changing the headerbar name.